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    1. 當前位置: 主頁 > 搞笑語錄 > 100句超級爆強的搞笑語錄

      100句超級爆強的搞笑語錄

      時間:2018-04-25 19:33 來源:語錄大全 點擊:

      1、生,容易。活,容易。生活不容易。


      2、天大地大,房子就是不降價。


      3、要想皮膚好,天天烹炸炒。


      4、聽君一席話,回家烤白薯。


      5、生的偉大,死的廉價。


      6、站長更高,尿得越遠。


      7、別跟我談感情,談感情傷錢。


      8、混吃的人往往都比較長壽。


      9、男人要有女人緣,低三下四多掙錢。


      10、感激傷害我們的人,讓他們內疚起吧。


      11、好馬不吃回頭草,所以好馬總挨餓。


      12、流氓不可怕,就怕流氓有文化。


      13、顧客就是個屁,放一放就順氣。


      14、家事國事天下事,沒錢吃飯是大事!


      15、原諒第三者要比原諒同性戀容易。


      16、你長得真蟀,比蛐蛐好看多了。


      17、我用扯蛋的幸福面對世間的殘酷


      18、男人最忌諱放空槍。多留點子彈給敵人。


      19、生活就像大便干燥,你使點勁,過后就舒服了。


      20、有的人你和他客氣,他就拿你當垃圾。


      21、我和超人的唯一區別是:我把內褲穿在里面了。


      22、愛情就是我不嫌你裝,你別嫌我臟。


      23、只要你選擇歪門邪道,口袋鈔票就往外冒。


      24、與狼共舞的羊們,別忘了自己的身份。


      25、有的人本身就沒味,做飯能有味嗎?


      26、別再給我介紹對象了,我已經戒了。


      27、你給我勻點肉,別總沒事偷著胖。


      28、拿夏利當法拉利開你找死呀小子。


      29、潑婦總是出現在公共場所耍二百五。


      30、小樣,長得挺曖昧的,就是身材有點頹廢。


      31、水能載舟,亦能煮粥!


      32、你哭你使勁哭沒事,我們家水表早就不走字了。


      33、你知道我長得像誰嗎?葛優的頭發,梁天的眼,成龍的鼻子,舒淇的嘴。


      34、曹操得不了天下,因為他太愛罵街。


      35、你什么時候請我吃飯,一會我就出去給你買袋干脆面。


      36、水至清則無魚,人至賤則無敵。


      37、我和脂肪做斗爭,差點沒犧牲。


      38、請不要把我對你的容忍,當成你不要臉的資本。


      39、解釋就是掩飾,掩飾就是講故事。


      40、我一失足成大瘸子,再回首又閃了腰。


      41、我不喜歡整理房間,他們都叫我亂室英雄。


      42、人貴在言而有信——我說不還錢就不還錢!


      43、八戒,別以為你站在路燈下就是夜明豬了。


      44、夏天就是不好,窮的時候連西北風都沒得喝,幸虧現在是秋天了。


      45、沒有不透風的墻,沒有不能上吊的梁。


      46、再丑也要談戀愛,談到世界充滿愛。


      47、我知道,天下無不散宴席,可是,至少,宴席上我要吃得爽!


      48、拜托不要叫他動腦子好不好--左腦全是水,右腦全是面粉,不動便罷了,一動全是漿糊。


      49、愚者坐以待斃,智者坐以待幣。


      50、每當我錯過一個女孩,我就在山上放一塊磚,于是,這世界便有了長城。


      51、世界上最遙遠的距離不是生與死也不是相愛不知,是冬天被窩里和被窩外的距離。


      52、水壺啊,你為什么哭泣,是因為屁股太燙了嗎?


      53、女人胖是豐滿,瘦是苗條,高是修長,矮是秀氣。男人胖是豬,瘦是排骨,高是竹竿,矮是冬瓜!


      54、我的心不是公交車,不是有空位你就坐下來。


      55、別人手牽手,我牽我的狗,走一走,游一游,看誰不爽咬兩口。


      56、我心中一直有個疑惑,5年了,整整5年了,灰太狼都是吃什么活下去的…


      57、要懂得珍惜守護身邊的每個人,因為前世扭斷脖子的回眸,我們才換來了今生的相遇。


      58、不經歷星期一上午的崩潰,就不知道星期五下午的可貴。


      59、真正的勇士要敢于正視漂亮的美眉,敢于直面慘淡的單身。


      60、我覺得一定有很多人暗戀我,因為這么多年了,也沒有人跟我表白!


      61、成功三要素:1、堅持;2、不要臉;3、堅持不要臉。你做到了么?


      62、心情不好的時候,那就上廁所,上完之后,面部猙獰的對著馬桶說:“你給我吃屎吧你!”然后猛沖廁所。


      63、上課的區別:小學上課費嘴,初中上課費筆,高中上課費腦,大學上課費流量……


      64、一個人最長的戀愛史,大概就是自戀了…


      65、外遇和艷遇的區別在于,前者在一起了后者沒有。


      66、天塌下來你頂著,我墊著!


      67、廢話是人際關系的第一句。


      68、在傻瓜眼里,聰明人的聰明一文不值。


      69、錢不是問題,問題是沒錢!


      70、只要鋤頭舞的好,那有墻角挖不倒?


      71、有錢男子漢,沒錢漢子難。


      72、遇見喜歡的,就得主動犯個賤。


      73、胖子的心聲:嘴里很享受,心里很想瘦。


      74、對女人不好的男人,下輩子都投胎做衛生巾去!


      75、我身在江湖,但江湖里卻沒有我的傳說。


      76、自打我變成了一疊屎,就再也沒有人敢踩在我頭頂上啦。


      77、你的丑和你的臉沒有關系。


      78、長得真有創意,活得真有勇氣!


      79、早起的鳥兒有蟲吃,早起的蟲兒被鳥吃!


      80、下輩子我還找你,因為除了我,你是最傻的。


      81、我視金錢為糞土,父母視我為化糞池!


      82、我有一條很酷的迷你裙,可惜我的腿不夠迷你。


      83、猛的一看你不怎么樣,仔細一看還不如猛的一看。


      84、別和我聊人生,和我聊生人吧!


      85、生命是充滿遺憾的篇章,因為她沒有機會讓你修改病句。


      86、老婆持家太苦太累,所以老婆只一個是不夠的!


      87、突然想要個孩子了,你們誰幫我生一個?謝謝啦!


      88、我的領帶又找不到了,是不是你昨天又沒有找到抹布?


      89、不是每句對不起,都能換來沒關系。


      90、舌頭比牙齒更長壽,軟件比硬件更加長久。


      91、開車無難事,只怕有新人。


      92、爺爺都是從孫子走過來的。


      93、當頭暈的時候我終于明白了什么叫愛情。


      94、女人一哭,男人必輸。


      95、天大地大,房子就是不降價。


      96、寧愿相信世間有鬼,也不相信男人那張破嘴!


      97、男人的謊言可以騙女人一夜,女人的謊言可以騙男人一生!


      98、也許似乎大概是,然而未必不見得。


      99、一山不能容二虎,除非一公和一母。


      100、我想早戀,但是已經晚了。


      文章標題:100句超級爆強的搞笑語錄

      文章地址:http://www.3dktu.com/gaoxiaoyulu/9593.html 版權所有,轉載請注明出處。


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